I Don't Wanna Cry
by Aynslesa
Summary: A Quatre/Trowa songfic. Reviews welcome.


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I DON'T WANNA CRY

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Once again we sit in silence

After all is said and done

Only emptiness inside us

Baby look what we've become

What happened to us, Trowa? I thought everything was so perfect – what changed? When did we stop trusting each other? When did . . . when did you stop loving me?

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We can make a million promises

But we still won't change

It isn't right to stay together

When we only bring each other pain

Quatre clutched his pillow tightly as he sat in his dark room. The only light that dared to enter the four walls was the soft moonlight that filtered in from outside. His bed felt so cold – the entire room did. There was too much empty space. Now, instead of everything saying QuatreandTrowa, there was only Quatre. Trowa Barton had walked out a week earlier. 

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I don't wanna cry

Don't wanna cry

Nothing in the world could take us back

To where we used to be

Thought I'm giving you my heart and soul

I must find a way of letting go

'Cause baby

I don't wanna cry

Quatre squeezed his eyes shut and forced the stinging in them to go away. He wasn't going to cry. He _was not_ going to cry! Letting Trowa go had been the best thing for his lover – he had to keep telling himself that. _Former lover_, a little voice whispered. Yeah. He had to keep telling himself that, too. 

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Too far apart to bridge the distance

But something keeps us hanging on

Pretending not to know the difference

Denying what we had is gone

One year. They'd been together for one amazing year before it had all started to whither and die. One minute, Quatre had felt so close to Trowa that they were practically sharing the same brain. The next, it was like they were living on two separate planets.

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Every moment we're together 

It's just breaking me down

I know we swore it was forever

But it hurts too much to stay around

"Why?" Quatre whispered, clutching his pillow to his chest. "Why couldn't we work it out, Trowa? Was it that you couldn't stand being around me anymore?" He'd been asking himself these questions for the past five days, and had yet to receive any answers. When he'd gotten into that fight with Trowa . . . 

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I don't wanna cry

Don't wanna cry

Nothing in the world could take us back

To where we used to be

Though I'm giving you my heart and soul

I must find a way of letting go

'Cause baby

I don't wanna cry

"Trowa, what_ is going on?" Quatre asked, biting his lip and looking at his lover. "You've been acting so distant lately."_

Trowa sighed and looked out the window, not meeting Quatre's eyes. "I don't know," he said softly. "Things just don't seem to be working anymore."

"What things?" Quatre felt his throat clench up as he choked out the words.

"Us."

All the magic's gone

There's just a shadow of a memory

Something just went wrong

We can't go on make-believing

On make-believing

"You can't be serious," Quatre whispered. "Trowa, I love you! How could that not be working?"

"You might love me," Trowa said, still not meeting his eyes, "but I'm not so sure if I love you. Quatre, not once have I ever said the words 'I love you' to you. I just don't know if I feel that way."

The pounding in Quatre's ears turned into a loud roar. "Are you saying you want to break up? Move out?"

Trowa finally looked straight at him. "Yes," he said in the same maddeningly calm voice, "I guess that is what I'm saying."

'Cause I don't wanna cry

Don't wanna cry

Nothing in the world could take us back

To where we used to be

Though I'm giving you my heart and soul

Said I'm giving you my heart and soul

Ooh, baby

I must find a way of letting go

'Cause baby

I don't wanna cry

Quatre's eyes stung hotly as the memory surged through his mind. Trowa had packed up and left the next day to places unknown. And through it all, Quatre's eyes had been dry. Now, though – he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and found that there were tears streaming down from them. He couldn't hold them back any longer. 

"I love you, Trowa," Quatre whispered as he continued to sob into his pillow. 

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I don't wanna cry

But sometimes I just can't help it. 

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing © Sotsu Agency and Sunrise Inc.

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'I Don't Wanna Cry' © Mariah Carey


End file.
